True friendship – until death parts

This morning, on Good Friday, I’m looking back. I return to the day 12 years ago, March 25^th in 2004. It was one of those days that became a turn in my life because I met a person who became one of my best and closest friends.

The first letter of Joe had a subject “Hei” which is a Finnish greeting for “hello”. He introduced himself as an American linguist and English teacher. He expressed his interest in Finland. And not much more was needed when I knew I’d write back to him. It’s always impressive when a foreigner expresses sincere interest in my country online. Being a language lover, I thought I might have a whole bunch of interesting conversations with him – by the time, I had no idea how many we actually had in all the years.

A month ago, I got a very sad, heartbreaking message from his family saying he had passed away. He had been sick for quite a while and – to be honest – I had been afraid of the day when I would get to know it’s now been his time to go. That day always comes too soon when someone close to you passes. It always feels things were left unfinished; there’d still have been so much to say, so much to do, so much to tell…

Joe and I started as pen friends. Our letters were long and chatty. We talked about languages (mostly English but also Finnish and some others) but we also talked about other things. It felt like there was no topic we couldn’t have talked about; lighter or deeper. Very soon, I got the feeling that once I saw a new letter from him I had a great urge writing back to him immediately.

After some time, somewhat half a year being friends, we started doing voice chatting on Skype in addition to letter writing. By the time, my English oral skills weren’t the strongest and Joe wanted to help me a bit there. It turned out voice chatting was as much fun as letter writing. It became a routine for us and we chatted one or two times a week.

Joe brought so much good into my life. And I know I did the same to him because we talked about it many times. I learned so much from him. And I had so much to tell him when he requested information about Finland and many other things. But one of the biggest things he did was that he introduced me to country music. I have posted this entry The 5 Meaningful Songs on here earlier. The first song mentioned in the article, by Garth Brooks, tells how it turned out.

On March 25^th in 2014, we had a voice chat on Skype. We had a little celebration for our tenth anniversary of friendship. On April 2^nd in 2015, we also had a voice chat on Skype also having a little celebration for our anniversary of me having fallen in love with country music ten years earlier. Those were actually some of the last voice chats we had. We stayed in letter-writing being Joe’s wish because he wasn’t so well anymore by the time.

When I look back and think about the 12 years it’s really easy to realize how very meaningful this friendship was to me. And it’s even easier to realize how different and emptier my life would be if I had never met Joe – if he had never written to me on that Thursday.

Even if I never had a chance to meet Joe in person it feels like I had met him. Most of our Skype video calls were long and lasted for hours. Not being a joke, once we had a real marathon call. We started at nine o’clock in the evening my time and it was half past six in the morning when I was finally so tired that I was close to doze off. And being most certain, there was not even one boring second included in those nine and a half hours.

Good memories will always live in my mind and heart. Even if we never met in person we stayed in touch in all the 12 years. We really were friends until death parted us. But even yet, we’ll still remain friends in my memories.

Internet friends – the meaning and importance of online friendship

I was on the bus on my way to work this morning when I logged in on Facebook to see what new there was on my News Feed. I was browsing for a few minutes but suddenly I stopped. A post by a friend of mine made a turn.

I have been online pen-palling, blogging, chatting for nearly 15 years. There have been several people who have just passed my way – come and gone, so to say – but I have a few friends whom I’ve met, kept in touch, and they are still there for years.

I do believe that one can really make true friends online. I have a couple of friends I’ve met over ten years ago and whom I’ve kept in touch with ever since, but whom I’ve never met in person. Yet, it does feel that I have because we’ve been in touch for such a long time, for so many years. There’s not just been a chance to travel to meet them, for one or the other reason.

In the post of my friend, it was mentioned that her long-term internet friend had passed away. This friend having passed was also my friend since 2007. We kept in touch reading each other’s blogs, commenting, sharing opinions in that way, and then we became Facebook friends when I started using Facebook actively.

Even if I never met this lady in person and we weren’t extremely close I did feel so sad and I nearly fell in tears there sitting on the bus. I couldn’t help clicking myself on to her site and when I saw her name and thought she was gone… it was a feeling that is hard to explain.

I have a very, very close online friend living in the US who’s been sick for over a year now. But we still keep in touch whenever he can and has energy to be online. Honestly, I am afraid for the day I’ll hear about his passing. We’ve been friends for 12 years. And no, I have not met him in person. But after all the letters written, Skype voice chats talked, good and bad stuff shared, secrets told… he is one of my all-time closest friends.

It was just a reminder to believe how I believe. “Live your life with no negativeness, enjoy each moment, and be happy.” Like Garth Brooks sings in one of his ballads, “If Tomorrow Never Comes”… You never really know.

Smells of nature

It was an early morning, around 6:15 a.m., when I left for work this morning. It was sunny and it was fresh because it had rained at night. When I was walking in the street I live in I suddenly stopped because there was a smell. It was a smell I wanted to stop to smell for a moment.

Lilacs aren’t only beautiful flowers but their smell is enchanting. There are quite a few lilac bushes in the street I live in. When they bloom I can even smell the lilacs on the balcony of my apartment. But the smell is the strongest when I’m walking down there in the street.

To be honest, I have always been really bad at recognizing flowers, plants, and even birds. I guess I was half asleep in the biology classes in school. It may be my sight too. I’ve never really been able to pick berries of any kind because I can’t distinguish them well in the bushes or among the leaves on the ground. But also there, I enjoy the smells.

My grandma used to make juice out of blackcurrant leaves. She let the leaves soak in red-hot water, so that the aroma would come up. The smell was overpowering! Of course, the juice was delicious. But I would claim I enjoyed the smell of the juice cooking even more.

It’s very traditional that in the early summer (at the beginning of June up to Midsummer) Finns make birch switches. In the days, they come up the best because the birch leaves are fresh and young. So, the aroma is much better than stronger than at the latter part of the summer.

One way to use a birch switch is to wet it and set it on the sauna stove right before water is thrown on the stones. When the humid steam comes up it goes through the leaves and brings up strong aroma. It makes the sauna room and bit by bit also one’s skin smell like the leaves of birch smell. It’s another smell that I like a lot.

When I walk in the forest I don’t only enjoy the peace and quiet. I also enjoy the sounds and smells. In summertime when the maintenance man of the apartment house cuts the grass I always make sure the windows are open because I want the smell of the fresh-cut grass to come in. When I’m at the summer cottage I want to be the one who cuts the grass because in that way I can be surrounded by the smell for as long as the work has been done.

I often think that senses are pretty amazing. One of my senses is weaker. Long time ago, I read bumped into an examination saying that people with a weaker sense have more sensitivity in other senses. And I would claim that is true in my case especially when it comes to the smells and tastes. Just an example, I could say that when I took the cooking course in the Adult College of Helsinki my teacher was pleased for the fact how good I was at seasoning.

I have a bottle of lilac perfume. Once I found the type in a beauty shop I simply couldn’t help buying it, especially when the smell wasn’t artificial. But of course, it would never be the same as if you were out there in the forest smelling the smell of real lilacs.

Ten years ago – my Country Music Anniversary

It’s a bit after nine o’clock in the evening. Skype is running. The call with a very close American friend of mine is on. And on the webcam, I see the shocked look on his face.

I go back a few minutes to sum up what we’ve just talked about. It’s music.

“Do you know any country music?”

That’s what he’s just asked, as we have been chatting about music in general, and the question’s made me go thoughtful.

As an answer, I have slightly shaken my head and said, “Well, I know somehow Dolly Parton and Johnny Cash but… not really, not that I could say.”

He is not a fan of country music, as he says, but he’s still so shocked for my reply that he makes an effort and sends me a link of a song. He asks me to listen to it. He says it would give me a good impression of country music because the singer is good; his music is country, he has a good classic-type of country voice, and his shows always rock “in a country way”.

“Alrighty then,” I think and open the link, because I’m always open to give a try to anything new.

A song starts playing. I ask him to wait for a moment. Then I focus on listening.

The beat is interesting. I realize the music is not what I exactly expected.

And then comes the singing.

First I just listen to the music in general. But suddenly I pay attention to the fact that the singer sounds a bit different… it’s not the kind of English I’m used to hearing. But his voice is very pleasant. It’s enjoyable to listen to.

I look at the title of the clip more closely: Garth Brooks – The Night I Called The Old Man Out.

“So, this is country music,” I think and a smile passes on to my face.

“So?,” my friend asks when the song has ended.

But I don’t comment. Instead, as a language lover, I approach the thing from that aspect.

“I wonder… why does he drawl the words?”

My friend bursts into laughter. Then he says it’s part of the game in the south to do that.

I go a bit confused because I don’t understand his reaction and I’m confused what’s so funny that it’s making him laugh.

But we don’t get stuck to it, and the chat goes on.

Then years ago, my life came to a turn. I found country music. I fell in love with it. And ever since, it’s played a big role in my life.

But it’s not just country music. I find the culture and lifestyle they lead in the southern US fascinating; the southern and western stuff and everything from the accents to the attitudes.

When I learned the meaning of “to cowboy up” I realized it’s very close to the Finnish “sisu” meaning guts. In many country songs, it’s said that when you get thrown down (from the saddle) you’ve got to cowboy up. That’s exactly what my attitude in general is like.

Any type of country music is good, even if I have to honestly admit that I’m less fond of today’s country that is mostly pop or rock and the artists and their fans just call it country. But I have my top favorites. I call Garth Brooks my Country Music First Love because his music opened the door to the world of country music to me. The others belonging to the top group are Chris LeDoux, Lonestar, and Justin Moore.

Every time I hear country music anywhere or I listen to it I feel awesome! It’s a way to put a smile on my face. Even if I was feeling blue, if I heard some country it’d chase the blueness away.

So, I am celebrating today. But I’m celebrating alone because it’s more or less “my thing”. Country music is not popular or well known in Finland. Basically, people know Johnny Cash, Dolly Parton, and Willie Nelson. But, for example, I’ve asked my friends if they know who George Strait and Alan Jackson are. They don’t.

I have two dreams I’ll go for when I have a chance. I’ve been in the US once, in Florida. I am going to have a vacation in one of the southern states; Texas most probably. And I am going to see a country music concert live; if it was Garth’s concert I’d be in heaven!

For dinner, I’m cooking Nashville Hot Chicken with white bread, pickle chips, and goat cheese dip. And needless to say, country music is playing in the background. That’s the name of the game on the 10^th Country Music Anniversary.

Related entry: Tipatius' Blog - The Five Meaningful Songs