We Finns are introvert and anti-sociable!

Helsingin Sanomat (the national Finnish newspaper) has published an opinion piece that is agitating and bringing up discussion especially in social media. When I read it I was left both speechless and embarrassed.

“Finns’ strange mannerism made an American family leave the country. Finns don’t greet each other. Why is it so difficult to them even if it’s part of good manners?,” the man writes in his opinion piece.

A half Australian and half Finnish man having lived in Finland most of his life says that there was an American family living next door to him for three years. Finally they decided to move back to the US. The reason they had was that they got fed up with the Finnish mannerism – strangers not to greet each other.

The man writes that in the farewell party he asked his neighbors what they think about Finland. The answer was harsh – they could not have warm memories about a country where people don’t greet each other. The Americans first thought Finns behaved in the way because they were foreigners. But in time it came out it was just part of the game with everyone – even between Finns.

The man considers the issue from an Australian view point. “If you walk in a park in Australia and pass people and don’t greet them you’re considered all over weird. Occasionally, it’s also common to stop to swap a few words about the weather or something like that. If someone doesn’t greet you they are considered weird and even dubious.”

The man says that he’s noticed that if one greets strangers in Finland s/he is considered weird and greeting a stranger brings up suspicion. He’s surprised it’s totally upside down in Finland compared to other places.

Unfortunately, I cannot doom his opinion piece completely. One of the Finnish stereotypes is that we Finns are shy, introvert, and anti-social. Let’s take an example that you take a bus somewhere. People sit on the bus and either look out of the window, have their eyes stuck to their phones, read books or magazines, or if there’s nothing else to do they look at their hands lying on their laps. But they hardly even look other passengers into the eyes.

If one starts chatting with a stranger on the bus s/he’s considered weird. People might even try to end the chat – not in a rude way, of course, but just to let it die out. We don’t lack all the manners after all.

I will never forget the feeling I had when I spent a month in England in 2003. I was in a language course and I lived in a small town on Isle of Wight. It was a cultural shock when I went to shops and other places like that and the staff came to me, nearly gave me a hug, and said, “How can I help you, my dear?,” or, “What can I do for you, darling?” If I called a stranger “my dear” or “darling” in Finland they’d most probably call the white-jacket guys to take me away.

But it’s quite sad really. When I came back to Finland I was in shock again because I realized how introvert we Finns really are in a way. At the cash desk in the supermarket, the seller mostly tells the price to you and may wish you a good day – but only ‘may’. It doesn’t happen each time.

So, in a way I sympathize with those Americans. And to speak my mind, this is the type of cultural thing I’m not proud of. We Finns don’t know how to do “small talk”. It’s just not part of the culture.

And the idea of this entry is not to mock my own country or culture. It’s a cultural thing. But every time it’s brought up by foreigners it simply feels quite… umm... well, it’s even hard to find a proper adjective to describe how it really makes me feel!