I’m not a doctor but I have common sense

On the 2^nd of June, I posted an entry Stuck Between A Rock And A Hard Place. And it seems that every time these days when I visit my eye doctor or the visit is getting closer I end up to such a situation – being stuck between a rock and a hard place. This time, I feel in that way already before the actual visit, thanks to the phone call I got from the hospital unit this morning.

I was supposed to have an appointment with my eye doctor on Friday afternoon. But I got a call that he wouldn’t be there. I said I could very well come next week. But the secretary said the next time he’s there is on Monday the 29^th of this month.

As I had the last appointment on the 2^nd of June, by the time I was told I’d be sent the time of the next appointment by mail. That time, it was a random doctor who just did a regular check to me. And so it happened. I asked the secretary if it should be the cornea specialist himself whom I should meet – if he was so engaged another doctor might be fine too, as it’d be a regular check after all.

She said that the cornea specialist had wanted the appointment to be booked to him because it’d be time to plan the new cornea transfer. So, I should visit him and no other doctor.

“Excuse me?!,” I exclaimed on the phone.

As there have been a few issues with the current cornea, as I’ve posted earlier, the doctors have flashed an option of a new transfer a few times. The eye is calm and the sight is clear most of the time, but there’s a little bit of swelling in the cornea which is why a new transfer is one of the options according to the doctors. But because the issues aren’t really big or extremely serious I don’t have an urgent need to have a new transfer done.

To top it all, the specialist who wants to see me in one and a half weeks has told me personally just within the past half a year that because the eye has been operated for so many times during my life it might not put up with the healing process of another transfer, it being for 12 months after all. And now he’s willing to plan a new transfer anyway!

I don’t know which word would describe my mood the best at the moment. But I do feel frustrated. It is, of course, wonderful that I’m in such good hands and the doctors want to take care of me. But the whole situation is a true dead end.

If it’s 50% or even less that the eye would carry through the 12-month-long healing process without bringing up swelling or other issues to the cornea transplant and if the doctors have clearly told me that, my sense just doesn’t get it why they would like to go for a new transfer anyway especially when there isn’t an urgent need.

But the whole situation has two sides. My common sense says that a new transfer might just be another one-year-long project that might fail with the probability of 50%. I base it on what I’ve been told for many times. But after all, I’m not a doctor. I’m not professional in medicine. So, why I’m struggling so deep is that I’m stuck between my own common sense and the professional opinions and viewpoints of the doctors. And it puts me on a hell of a spot for sure.

So, now I have one and a half weeks to stop to think about the whole thing. I have time to prepare myself what I should ask of the doctor in the appointment on the 29^th. One thing is for sure though; I won’t let him off lightly when it comes to justifying why it’d be wise to go for a new transfer or what it perhaps might cause in a long term if it wasn’t done.